“Love One Another”, But HOW?

The Greeks used eight different words for the meaning of Love.  

You may find a more in depth look at them at THIS LINK, but to very briefly review them here they are:

• Eros – Sexual desire
• Philia – Affection, friendship
• Storge – Family love, relational love
• Mania – Excessive, obsessive love 
• Ludus – Noncommittal love, e.g. flirting, or “game playing” love
• Pragma – Practical love based upon duty, obligation or logic
• Philautia – Self-love, e.g. self-esteem, hubris, narcissism
• Agape – Unconditional or sacrificial love

Love incorporates affection.  Affection is desire, inclination, wish, intention, it is an emotion of the mind, passion, lust as opposed to reason.   Mind is that which feels, wills, things; the intellect”. To think is to conceive in the mind, consider, meditate, remember, intend, wish or desire. Generally, love is an emotional and not a rational process.  

The affection generated by love may be either conditional or unconditional.  The first seven of the above descriptors are conditional loves.  

Conditional love can be defined as love with conditions. This means that your love for another person, or another person’s love for you, is contingent on certain actions, or things going on.  Things like sexual attraction, friendliness, family relationships, targets of excessive obsession, game-playing partners, sense of duty, obligation or logic, or even how you feel about your self. 

In conditional love, people often feel a lack of stability and trust.  They may feel that they have to change themselves to mold their attitudes and actions about who they, themselves, are to the expectations of someone outside of themselves in order to continue to receive love and affection.

Agape, however, is an unconditional love.

Unconditional love (agape) is love without conditions. This is the kind of love that no matter what someone does, the other person will always love them. Through it all, there is always a sense of support, understanding, and compassion. 

Unconditional love holds a feeling of acceptance and safety.  People who experience unconditional love feel secure in their relationship and feel comfort in knowing that even if they struggle or misstep, they will always have a safe place to fall back on for support. Unconditional love is something that is optimal for all of our relationships.

To use a cliche: agape love “may not always like you, but it will always Love you!”

[Like: to find pleasing.]